Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson in their book The Compassionate Classroom state that Compassionate Communication is based on 5 Premises.
- We are all natural givers and we all have many and varied gifts to give. Also, we enjoy giving when we do it willingly.
- We can give and receive in ways that will meet the most needs for everyone. Needs are universal and we are always trying to find ways to meet them. Identifying our needs is empowering. Our feelings are useful messengers which help us identify unmet and met needs.
- We can become more choiceful about how to meet our needs by exploring new ways to think, listen, talk and act. All behaviour is a conscious or unconscious attempt to meet needs. There are many ways to meet needs and we often become so attached to certain strategies that we do not explore other options. Compassionate Communication reminds us that we can choose how we think, listen, talk and act.
- We can consciously and continuously learn new ways to meet needs. By experimenting, we can explore options and find out new strategies that work well for us and others. Compassionate communication is a process of lifelong learning and conscious expansion of ways to meet our needs and the needs of others, so that life can be more wonderful.
- By focussing on needs we can prevent, reduce, and resolve conflicts. Needs are never in conflict, but the strategies to meet them may be. It is creative, stimulating and transformative to explore ways to meet everyone’s needs.