Compassionate Communication (also called Non Violent Communication or NVC) is a philosophy and model developed by Dr Marshall Rosenberg. It is about experiencing greater awareness, choice, gratitude, resilience and personal power, along with connection and empathy with others.

The tools of Compassionate Communication help us navigate our inner selves and discover what is most alive and vital. It also encourages us to communicate in a way that enhances the possibilities for us to live our lives in line with these discoveries. Compassionate Communication is about dynamic, empathetic conversation with nuanced exploration of ideas and viewpoints, rather than opinionated debate where there is a win/lose, either/or agenda. It is about seeing conflict as an exciting opportunity for discovery, rather than a competitive battle of wills.

With Compassionate Communication new ideas and viewpoints can be constructively shared and deeply understood so that creative, positive, change and new ways of being and doing become apparent. Compassionate Communication enables everyone’s feelings and needs to be valued and can profoundly change interpersonal relationships for the better. I believe that we are all trying to meet our needs the best way we know how.

Until I found Compassionate Communication I was often bumbling through life without being really clear of my needs, let alone being able to effectively express them or understand how to meet them. Rosenberg’s model has given me ways to untangle and unpack my thoughts, feelings, needs and language, so that I can be clearer and more empathetic in my relationship with myself and with others.

Although I have been a communication trainer and consultant for over 20 years I have not found a communication model as relevant and potent as this one. It gives me a way to turn its principles into practice and theory into process. Because I did not come into contact with Rosenberg’s work until I was in my 50’s, I have a lot of socialization and habits to change, but I know that my life has been enhanced in profound ways since I have been using the skills. I am looking forward to even more positive change as my skills become more developed.

I believe that if we can use and teach these communication tools with children, it will make an impact much faster than on old dogs like me. I am so keen to introduce the model and tools to school teachers, so children can be exposed to these life affirming and life enhancing skills. As the children grow and practise this new ‘language of life’ their empathy, tolerance and understanding of self and others builds, and their hope and empowerment flourishes. What an exciting thought.