According to Daniel Goldman one of the leading experts in emotional Intelligence, SELF-AWARENESS is the vital foundation skill for three emotional competencies needed for strong emotional intelligence. They competencies are emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment and self-confidence.
I believe that self-awareness is the foundation for effective communication and in turn satisfying relationships.
I also believe that when we get to know ourselves honestly and kindly, and begin to appreciate ourselves with all our glorious imperfections, we have a much better chance of building honest, kind and appreciative relationships with others.
I have created a self-reflection guide based on Daniel Goldman’s emotional intelligence work. You may wish to ponder the questions and record your answers.
If you date your responses, it can be useful to look back on at a later date to see if there are any changes. Perhaps you wish to begin a journal or a folder to keep your responses available for easy access.
Please think carefully about the questions and respond as honestly and thoroughly as possible.
Part A
EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
Do you know which emotions you are feeling and why you are feeling them?
Are you aware of the links between your thoughts, feelings, behaviours and body responses?
Do you recognize how your feelings affect your performance and judgment?
Have you a guiding awareness of your values and goals?
Part B
ACCURATE SELF ASSESSMENT
Are you aware of your strengths and weaknesses? (Could your name your inner resources, abilities, skills, competencies and limits?)
Do you reflect on your behaviour and performance and learn from experience?
Are you open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and personal and professional development?
Are you able to show a sense of humour about yourself in your personal and professional life?
Part C
SELF CONFIDENCE
Do you present yourself with self-assurance? Do you have a presence?
Can you voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what you believe to be right?
Are you decisive? Can you make sound choices despite uncertainty or pressure?
Part D
DELVING DEEPER
Now that you have seriously considered these questions, could you give examples to support your views?
If a close colleague answered these questions on your behalf, do you think they would have similar responses?
If you asked a close family member for their view on these factors about you, do you think they would offer an alternative view?
Do you think you could discuss your answers with someone close to you to gain insight into some of the responses you have made?
How has thinking about these questions changed your view of yourself?
Has thinking about your answers motivated you to make some changes in your life? Why? Why not?
Did you find these questions useful? Why? Why not?
If you had to answer these questions about someone you were working with or living with, do you think you would find it easier to do than it was to do in relation to yourself?
Happy pondering.