Most of us have experienced times where we sincerely regret pressing the send button or taking that tricky phone call when feeling emotionally triggered. I know I regularly wish that I could go back in time and delete the heart to heart I had when over tired, hungry or worse yet, tipsy.
When I act when emotionally charged, I am more likely to say and do things that do not show my best self. I am more likely to create misunderstandings and upset for all concerned. Thank goodness I am finally learning to step back from the situation, take a few deep breaths and see the bigger picture. I am starting to learn how to resist falling into the adrenalin charged trap of acting while off balance. In doing so, I am gradually creating new patterns and also improving my emotional sensitivity and emotional intelligence.
People with high emotional intelligence (EQ) are aware when they are triggered and because of that can acknowledge their feelings, reflect on what is happening and consider a variety of possible responses. They can perceive, understand and manage their own feelings and at the same time empathise with others.
By recognising other people’s emotions and guessing at their state, they can avoid behaving in a way that will hinder connection. By avoiding taking action when highly charged, they build better relationships and make better decisions.
People with high EQ are willing to change and try new ways to be in the world. They are willing to admit their mistakes and learn from them. The good news is we can all grow our EQ.